Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
