Her vagina should come with caution tape.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Randomize
