and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
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