can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
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