Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
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