I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up�
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
