Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Randomize
