Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Randomize
