this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Randomize
