I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Randomize
