look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
