I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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