break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
Randomize
