i think my mom watched the whole time
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Randomize
