Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
Randomize
