Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
