Rock
Scissors
Fuck
When I'm drunk i like to pretend my penis is zeus and instead of peeing i'm throwing lightning bolts into the toilet...it helps me focus.
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Randomize
