He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
Randomize
