Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
Randomize
