I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
So squirting runs in the family.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
