I think my vagina is haunted
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
