Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
