remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
