If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
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