Reggie can tackle my bush.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Randomize
