I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
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