Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
