just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
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