Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Randomize
