38 yer olds are good kisserssss
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
