I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
Randomize
