i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
where am i from again
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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