I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
Randomize
