next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
this beer tastes like vomit already
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
