my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
