I am puke
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Randomize
