I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
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