How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
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