no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
