used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Randomize
