So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
