Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
Randomize
