My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
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