Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
this hospital has no fireball
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
