Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
