i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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