I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
