we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
