I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
Two words: blizzard sex
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
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