Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
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